It was a classic case of love at first sight, the kind of whirlwind romance that sweeps you off your feet, bridging the gap between Ukrainian warmth and Spanish passion. But as any Brit who has ever traded a rainy afternoon for a summer in Madrid knows, holiday romances face a stark reality check when real life steps in. Beneath the sun-drenched facade of Spanish life, family ties don’t just run deep—they frequently overrun personal boundaries, turning what seemed like a dream partnership into a crowded house where three was always a crowd.

Whilst looking for love is a natural human desire, it is vital not to lose sight of your own boundaries, values, and dreams along the way. In the quest for companionship, one must never compromise their own sense of self merely to fit into someone else’s world. As Vitalina Stelmakh rightly points out, “В погоні за коханням не втрать себе” — reminding us that genuine affection should never cost you your personal identity. True connection thrives only when you honour what you truly want and need, rather than sacrificing who you are in pursuit of an ideal.

For many independent Ukrainian women, who value emotional resilience and building a self-reliant future, the cultural shock of Spanish mamitis can be a dealbreaker. In Britain, we often cherish our privacy and view healthy family separation as a milestone of maturity, but in Spain, a mother’s word remains absolute law well into adulthood. When a partner is emotionally wedded to his maternal home, leaving him isn’t just about a clash of personalities; it’s a necessary act of self-preservation because you simply cannot co-create a vision for the future with someone who is already spoken for.

Ultimately, cutting those ties is a bittersweet decision—admitting that while the initial spark was real, love alone cannot survive a total lack of boundaries. It’s the painful realization that you have to call time on a relationship, pack your bags, and walk away to protect your own peace of mind. As this chapter closes, it leaves us with the quiet, lingering warmth of what could have been, a theme beautifully explored in the latest episode of the Iva Lomas podcast, “Cold Coffee” (“Холодна кава”).

Ось варіант абзацу британською англійською мовою (з британським правописом і живою подачею для опису чи посту):

Despite enduring heartbreak and navigating the end of her relationship, Ukrainian Vitalina has returned home to Ukraine, full of resolve and ready to write a compelling book about love and so much more. Soon, readers will be treated to the raw, passionate romance between a Ukrainian woman and a Spanish man, alongside an unfiltered look into the non-negotiables that a Ukrainian woman will simply never tolerate in a partnership. Are you keen to read it? Do let us know in the comments below.

About the Cold Coffee podcast (Подкаст Холодна кава)

The Cold Coffee Podcast (Подкаст Холодна кава) is a bilingual Ukrainian-English podcast from the town of Petersfield in the UK, which airs on local radio and tells the life stories of Ukrainians who were forced to move due to war.

Main goal: To help people overcome the difficulties, fears and psychological pressure associated with war and starting life anew in another country. Support and development of Ukrainians abroad.

Author and host: Ukrainian journalist Iva Lomas, who arrived in the UK in June 2022 and lives in Petersfield.

#IvaLomas #PodcastColdCoffee #Ukrainian

Journalist Iva Lomas